Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
