I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
