seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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