I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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