When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
