btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
