Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
from now on my penis is your penis
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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