Slut skills are useful in every country.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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