Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
