yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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