Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
