sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
