Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
