so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
