Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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