I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
