Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
