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There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
