Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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