Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
