the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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