she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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