You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
