Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
