my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
