what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
