i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
