The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
