And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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