when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
