Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
