Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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