They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
