People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
