WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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