oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
