Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
