...so i touched it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
