is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
