mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
