She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
false alarm. still invincible.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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