idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
