I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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