ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
