our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
