They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
