your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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