check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
