Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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