Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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