idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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